early morning

I went home last night with a massive headache. I could've thrown up all the amount of food I've eaten the whole day. Busy season is really kicking in and it's starting to take its toll on my body. I have to remind myself again never to forget drinking my vitamins. And of course, never forget to bring some Biogesic or Ponstan to work. Sudden migraine attacks drain me out. 

I don't even really care about my food intake anymore. My body needs it anyway so why even bother counting carbs right? It doesn't even affect my weight. Perfect excuse for overeating this coming Noche Buena.

Anyhoot, I'm done with Christmas shopping and it feels really good that the amount of hard work I did really paid off. It is now that I've totally felt the season of giving. I thought that squeezing in some Christmas shopping during work days is very impossible for me but that very impulsive rest day turned out to be a fun and awesome. First time this year that I spent the entire day hanging out with my sisters. We just decided to drop by Megamall to minimize my Christmas shopping burden but then, fortunate circumstances made me decide to take a day off. Then we went straight to Shangrila, minus procrastinating on what to buy, and back to Megamall again only because we weren't satisfied with what we've purchased at Faceshop Shang. Not that we weren't happy, it just wasn't enough. Bahahaha. I've decided to switch from Etude's to Face Shop's BB Cream only because I love the way it smells on my skin, and it gives a more matte coverage, so I also decided to get the face powder that goes with it too. And Kim Hyun Joong's calendar is partly to blame because of this. You get a free calendar with every minimum purchase of 1000, and we got 4, so you know how it went and how much we've spent.  Thanks to me, my sister once again got obsessed with Korean dramas. It's because of my habit when I'm doing my nails. I put on a random DVD in my player and just do my thing. Playful Kiss(Korean version of ISWAK) was playing that time when she came in my room, it caught her attention and you know what comes next. So after Mega, we went to Metrowalk to have some coffee break and did some serious DVD shopping. Bahahahaha. Let me correct that, Korean DVD shopping/hunting. And we ended the day by getting ourselves a foot spa. This would have to be the most embarrassing part of my day and it involved a lot of callus scrubbing, but it's all good. Work is to blame for that part! Bahahahaha.

Time to go now because I am just blabbing away and I have to get ready for work in a few hours. Let me just savor this relaxing moment as I have to embrace the craziness of this season again later. Good morning and have a blast this day! I'm feeling that today will be a lot more different than yesterday. Cheers!

-Nel

busy bee

Heyho hello! Busy season is very much felt even here in my blog. I see molds in my account. Bahahaha. Ever since this month started, it had nothing but an endless roller coaster ride. Work's so crazy and energy sucking, but I've my vitamins and yosi for that. Holiday rush is so in the air and it's just wild. And my eyebags is a zillion times bigger. 

Anyhoot, my sister arrived last saturday and our house, especially my room is a total wreck. And I've got my Calcagni wedge and some cute Ms. Selfridge flats. And a bonus purchase of 2 Mac lippies in Duty Free. Got Pink Nouveau and Freckletone. Nothing beats Mac lipstick I tell you. Might stick to it even if I'd end up getting broke.

Worst part about this holiday madness is... drum roll please... no rest day this week. We all have to work straight til Christmas day. The worst disadvantage when it comes to working in fashion retail. But, it's all good coz the mall is the only place I could be spotted during holidays like this one. Funny thing is, I work in a mall but I've no time to squeeze in some Christmas shopping. I'd have to rely on procrastination come this saturday. Bahahaha.

Goodnight for now minions, have to relax and accommodate that shiny bar of 3 Musketeers. Ciao!

-Nel

going the blackberry way

Me and ze boyfriend decided to get ourselves a gift this Christmas since we're now official taxpayers. Decided to get Blackberry gadgets, I'll be getting me a BB Playbook and him a BB Torch9810. This was really very impulsive especially on my part because we only had a couple of hours to decide which one we're supposed to purchase. And because of this I won't be getting a digi perm anymore. But who needs it anyway if getting a Playbook is much cheaper. Cheaper because it is on sale and we'll also be getting discounts. As of the moment we are enjoying the perks of having relatives in Canada. This is for all the hard work we've been doing.

Love lots,

Nel

Tales from beyond and back...

Jan Eleonor & THE ROTTEN POTATO HEAD... Lady Demon!

Quitting is never an option but unfortunate events conspire you to reconsider giving up. Holding on to something that's already a few centimeters away from the trash bin is a waste of time.

I'm supposed to be doing something better. It feels like I've been so broke and ended up bankrupt that from living in the penthouse of a condo I went crashing down to the slums. I will never get used to this even if a bright finish line is waiting for me at the end of this hell hole. Coz I know that before I reach the end, I have to endure the pain of suffering and battling with the monsters inside my head.

PSYCHACHE.

What am I supposed to do now? Look for something better? But how will I do that if I am stuck in this preposterous situation?

A lady demon put me in this state just to save her ass from coming home to where she truly belongs. She kept on pushing in her horns but it's still very visible, even if she covers it up with a big shiny halo. You're a demon and you know it. No matter how hard you try to suppress it, your evil ways naturally comes out. What's inside you is nothing different than Satan himself. FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL OF THIS.

"Without suffering there'd be no compassion."

Why the hell am I suffering when all the while you are sitting there in your make believe throne? You do not deserve all this glory, you only deserve a big bag of shit. You stole everything from the person who really deserves what you took away. Just go straight back to hell and enjoy the pits of it. Might as well bathe in the Lake of Fire to burn all false pretense you've covered up in your body. You've played with fire coz it's in your nature. How I badly wish that every stupid thing you've done will come crashing down to you in one smooth blow that you wouldn't be able to recover from all the suffering and pain.

Fault Lines

How am I supposed to save my ass? I am slowly and painstakingly deteriorating. My brain's screaming and telling me to give up, just quit... for it is a much better option than prolonging this agony. Why coerce something you know in the first place won't work? There's a limit to a person's sanity and I'm feeling that mine's about to reach the bottom line and that any moment I am going to snap.

FAST. FURIOUS. FOOL.

I want all of this to end in a finger snap. I've never been this unproductive before and it sucks that I can't do anything about it. Everything is so lame.

I feel so mad inside. Mad inside coz that's the only thing I'm supposed to do, keep the turmoil in. Shut up and pretend that I am so blessed with what they've given me. In short, lie and fool myself. But I know deep inside me that I may be the only one who could put an end to this shit... I am just suppressing my monsters from dominating my emotions and mentality.

This would be the prefect time for Disney movies to come true. Peter Pan can take me to Neverland. Aladdin could lend me his magic lamp and ask Genie to grant my wishes. But as good and easy it may seem, it is also impossible coz it all comes tumbling down when you snap back to reality.

Rebel

So I finally got me my first ever MAC lipstick. I got MAC in Rebel only coz they don't have it in Media. Very fine with me coz it costs 1,000 each. Expensive right? I know that it's sort of impulsive but I've been searching for the perfect reddish plum lipstick since October and this purely satisfied me. This isn't a waste of money coz I'll be using it at work, it is a necessity. Bahahaha. 

Haven't used it yet but here's a picture so you could see how cool the shade is...

Very cool right? So goodnight for now coz I'm still talking about make up and it's starting to be annoying. Ciao!

-Nel

work it out

This week had been nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. One day I'm all giddy inside and out, the next I'm bawling like a widow. Life's pretty fucked up but I'm still glad that this is the only thing that gets me in a good and horrible way. I still feel blessed coz it's not all the time that we deserve 2nd chances to prove ourselves. Might as well take everything as a challenge. 

I know I've been making you feel clueless about my blog posts but as you see it, I'm being a bit mysterious because I don't like bragging about my job. I work in fashion retail and that is all you'll ever know about it. So I'll just leave it that way.

Anyhoot, about that dilemma I've said in my last post, I just figured out what I'll be getting me tomorrow. I seriously want that MAC lipstick in Rebel or Media only because I've been having frequent lazy make up days. Yes, I've become so lazy when it comes to putting make up on my face so excuse my appearance when my right eye shadow is darker than the left side. And I'm just kidding. When I say lazy it means I apply make up in a very slow manner, k? Haha. And I'm just blabbing here about make up, so on so forth.

Only 32 days to go before Christmas and I feel so fucking lazy to set up our tree. Kept on thinking that it's ze boyfriend's job to do that. You know how they say that old habits die hard? Well it does, for me atleast. Bahahahaha. Fine, I'm just making a perfect excuse for my laziness again. Anyways, I feel Christmas in the air when I'm at work but it's a different story when I get home... nope, I'm not being overly dramatic about this one... just doesn't feel Christmas-ey at home only because my sister's not here yet. But, I'm feeling a no-sleep-hello-eyebags-hangover-syndrome-at-work come her arrival on the 10th. Peak season plus sister in the Philippines is equals to low blood pressure and a humongous black circle below my eyes. PANDA MODE IS ON! And my much anticipated Aldo Calcagni wedges slipped my mind. I'm fucking bragging about this one coz they are really pretty. Bahahahaha. Want proof... here yah go...

Pretty right? I remember stating it here that shoes will always be my first love and that bags only come in second. And I said it again coz I feel it's a very appropriate thing to say after showing you this picture. Hahaha.

Goodbye for now minions, I feel a little demented, this blog post is pretty bizarro. Thank you.

-Nel

back on track

Why hello there minions! I know I've been inactive for a couple of weeks mainly because I got a bit depressed with work and unlike before, I like ranting and bitching out about things that disappoint me but it's the other way around now... I barely blog when I'm depressed these days. Guess I really just grew up. Haha. And now that I've sort of recovered already, my fingers are weee-excited to blog again. (Can you feel the giddiness?)

Anyways, I have to admit that I'm still not really good with compliments. It's probably that little flow of paranoia running inside my veins. A customer told me that I look like a doll but I thought of Chuckie's bride the moment my brain processed what she said. Perfect excuse would have to be the fact that I am scared of dolls. They have big freaky eyes that blankly stare at you. Some of them cry and talk and laugh... bottomline is, they're evil and freaky ok?! And I'm gonna stop talking about dolls now thank you.

And right about now I'm having a very superficial dilemma. I dunno what I should purchase first, that MAC Rebel I've been eyeing on or a new pair of sandals? Opinions would be very much appreciated. 

I've to go now, legs are starting to burn. 

Goodnight and adios minions!

-Nel

white flag

I miss those days when smoking a stick of Marlboro Lights can alleviate my almost decaying brain cells. 

Everything's starting to feel really fucked up. Remember that silver lining I've mentioned here, I've loosened my grip on it. And you know what sucks the most about it is the fact that I wasn't really the one who let it get away. I've come to realize that holding on to something I used to like doing is a form of mental torture. I am only coercing myself to hold on because I got so used to doing it that it had already become a routine. 

I feel so helpless and dumb. Is this still worth it? Or am I just wasting time? Or this is just an uncertain line of mumbo jumbo? It even sucks more coz I can't even answer these questions no matter how I put my mind to it. I've put so much time and effort on this but it all just comes crashing down in a single blow. 

I seriously need to end this shit before it sucks the life out of me like a freaky dementor.

Life has become bleak again. Everything will be gone to waste. 

I'm just waiting for a signal to raise my white flag and accept defeat.

-Nel

8th

It's either drizzling or raining the whole day but I like it. At least it's a few degrees colder. Been feeling like a roasted pig on fire because of the madness that is of the sun and I was more than happy to wake up in a better weather this morning. Rain actually isn't that scary when it sounds tranquil. Thank you Ondoy for scaring the shit out of us and wishing for drought to stay a little longer than it's supposed to be.

Anyway, about my tattoo date post last night, my boyfriend, my very very good and loyal loving boyfriend surprised me and paid for my ink. He came up with this great idea last night while we were planning our tattoo date via FB chat. Haha. Yes, I know it's lame but you have to be considerate because that is our only access when he's at work. Anyhoot, it was really funny because I was PMS-ing this afternoon but he thought I was having a tantrum coz my face was very placid while I was harassing my sister's iPad. So after his bloody session he whispered that he'd pay for my tattoo because I am in such a foul mood... also told me that he already planned it last night and just waited for the fangs of envy to bite my neck. See how good he is to me? Bahaha. But still babe you are very very nice to me amidst my mood swings. Thank you, I love you. Yes I am being cheesy here, I don't care. ^____^

So here is my new ink...

That crescent moon you see beside it is an old one, and it glows under a black light, or blue light, er whatever you call that stupid light. They fit together perfectly. 

If anyone of you guys or girls wants to get inked just text me or DM me and I'll give you our artist's number.

Adios for now I have to go give myself a pedicure. Goodnight!

-Nel

fewer than few

Has it been ages since my last post? Hehe.

Anyhoot, things had been running smoothly. My silver lining is starting to give me positive vibes. So far, I am quite satisfied with what I have now. It's really weird how dreadful things could turn out to be the opposite of what you're expecting. And now is the right time to prove myself of being worthy to where they've put me. Thank you so much.

On the other side of things... RD tomorrow and guess where I'll be going on a date with ze boyfriend? The tattoo parlor. Now this isn't something new. But, I'm still not sure if I'll be getting me some new ink again, coz, I am so broke this week. Payday's a few days away and I have to trap my money inside my wallet or else I'll be suffering next month. I've been dying to get me a wrist tattoo last month and now that it had finally arrived I'm having second thoughts about it, only because of money matters. Anyhow, here's a picture of what I wanted to get inked on me...

I chose this so that everytime I'm feeling down, this will be a reminder that I should always hold on to faith and let things run as it's supposed to be. Faith in me and faith in HIM. And now I'm wanting to get inked badly again. Well, whatever floats my boat tomorrow.

Adios minions. Goodnight!

-Nel

turntable

So, turns out, I'll be transferred to Eastwood branch next month. I have mixed emotions about this but I know it's all for the better. It just sucks that I have to deal with changes and familiarity all over again. But I still need to look on the bright side and welcome that silver lining waiting for me. Coz something deep inside of me feels that if ever this transfer gets cancelled I'd be disappointed. Thing is, I haven't really fully digested what happened. I dunno how I'm supposed to react. I don't know how I should be feeling right now. Everything hit me in a swift blow, smashed straight into my head leaving me in a coma.

gotta keep the faith

Tomorrow might be my judgement day coz I'm passing my evaluation sheet to my ASM. I dunno how I'm supposed to be feeling right now but everything inside my tummy feels like there's a mosh pot in there and they're all rumbling and jumbling and it's making me gassy. Hello there fart queen. And I'm overeating like crazy that it gives me heartburn sometimes. Doesn't really feel good when you are prolonging the agony. I'm not really sure what will happen but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. I want this job so badly that I was able to give up my weekends and holidays yah know. I even dismissed Lazy Daisy and never entertained her. It's not only wanting this job, I also need it. This is the only thing that makes me different from them. (by them, I prefer not to mention it here due to family matters) I want to totally runaway from my ugly and dark past... the irresponsible black sheep... the middle child sickness. I've had my dark days and I swear I won't ever go back.

Whatever's going to happen tomorrow, I'll just leave it all to God. That's what I did before this all started. I know He'll give me what I only deserve and what is best for me. I shall never question His ways. But, I'll keep on believing that whatever I'm asking for, He will give it. I'm always keeping the faith. :)

Wish me luck for I'll break a leg. Goodnight.

-Nel

friday mayhem

Traffic aside, we started the day right. We were supposed to drop by Megamall to get me my reserved Spiderman tank top in F&H but a long line of traffic that started from Tiendesitas all the way to Megamall kinda ruined that plan. So we decided to just go straight to Galleria after a good 1 and a half hour of craziness inside the car due to exaggerated heavy traffic. Megamall's really that bad when their sale banner is up. All the parking spaces were occupied, even in the establishments around it. I really enjoy discounts, but I wouldn't risk my time and patience to be with all those other shoppers hunting for good bargains. And it was really insane that ze boyfriend and I went out with empty stomachs. On the brighter side, Galleria saved our ass. Ze boyfriend took me to Bon Chon and made my tummy party in amazement. I swear I felt my insides dance because of the goodness that is of Bon Chon's crispy spicy chicken. 

After our breakfast/lunch, went straight to F&H and purchased my tank top. We were both Marvelized thankyouverymuch! Err, already gave him the belt earlier. Anyhoots, Galleria also has a sale event but it's way more different than Mega's. The latter mall looks like people are going to a concert instead of shopping. Galleria looked so calm, even their parking lot looks safe... No lines, no honking and bonking, no angry drivers. Basta, it's way better than Mega. Anyway, I stepped out of our house broke but, good thing my boyfriend saved me from drowning into my empty and dark wallet, I was able to purchase 2 items in Topshop. And I'll just worry about paying him next week come payday.  Thanks babe. :)

I wasn't able to wear my Spiderman tank top coz I was wearing something more comfortable and appropriate for a drinking spree. Last night was a total blur as I was fighting off sleep the entire night after I swallowed the last slice of graham cake that I'm still craving for up to now. Made me realize how stress is slowly taking its toll on me. 

The day after...

I woke up with really puffy eyes. No one left to blame but me coz I slept with make up on. See, I told you I'm not vain, I still have my lazy icky days. And so I came to work looking like a dehydrated retard. Was still on lazy make up mode as I still held on to my red lipstick to make me look decent and I also came to work in my skinny jeans. A once in a blue moon sort of thing for me. If I were your boss you'd probably understand what I'm saying here. And I did that less and more effect, I wore my skinny jeans and paired it with a sleeveless and very loose crop top with spagstrap as my innerwear. So before I talk about style here (sorry, I don't wanna use the word fashion as much as possible) I'll just end it peacefully.

No bashing and ranting today coz I want my mind to relax. The thought of her makes my brain cells scream in agony. 

Goodnight. Need to catch on some zzzzzz's. 

-Nel

wine lippy

So I'm doing this because I want to do something productive and as usual I always resort to blogging everytime I feel this kind of urge. And I've sort of promised that I'll never forsake my blog unlike what I did way back in 2006. If only I could remember my username. This is the only problem when it comes to blogs, you don't get to save every bit of memory you've written (well of course, unless you print a hard copy of your every entry which is a big hassle by the way) unlike in journals where as you can flip the pages and freely read everything you've written and documented in the past. Ok, so I also need to update my journal... its papers might start to get crispy to even lay a pen on it. But Fully Booked, I trust you with all my heart that the journals you're selling is all worth it, especially if it costs a few peso away from 1000. And FYI I've decided that I won't chug down a dozen frappuccinos  just so I could get enough stickers to get me a Starbucks 2012 planner. I'll get me a Belle de Jour planner instead and save up hundreds of pesos. And another reason why I'm getting it is because it has tie up promos with Jellybean. Isn't that cool? Well at least for me it is because I'll be using that planner for work, and it is cool because it really has something to do with work and I'll be enjoying its perks.

And again I finished a bottle of melon milk and it feels refreshing even if my saliva is sticky and my throat feels icky. Anlabo lang ba?! Bahahaha. 

You know how I always say that I don't believe in fashion, only in style? I really do. Well, not that I really don't believe in fashion for it can been seen anywhere. I just don't like it and all the more am I not interested in it even if I work in fashion retail. There's a fine line between the two, a big difference. Fashion is a photocopy, style is the original. It's always better to stand out rather than to blend in the crowd!

Ok, so brain's starting to deteriorate, I gotta go. Adios!

-Nel

marvel-ous

Ayun na nga, just one of those working days where in I have to be on OT mode, without pay... for overtime I mean. My work doesn't really feel like work at all. It just feels like I am in a girl's closet and I have to keep it squeaky clean and organized. New merchandise came today and a red high waist shorts surely got my attention. Mentally, I've already spent all my GCs. Bahahaha. Ooooh, and I've already purchased ze boyfriend's Marvel Collection belt for a post birthday gift. We've decided to wear something Marvel on his celebration this Friday. And I am wishing that the heavens will cooperate and give us a spectacular weather. Anyways, about that Marvel thing, I've been eyeing that Spiderman crop top since the day I've seen it in FH's facebook account. It's limited edition so they only offer it on big stores and I'm more than grateful that I had training in Mega branch because having it reserved is forbidden but, since I know the manager there, she was more than glad to save my size (she initiated that I have it saved)  even if I'll purchase it on a later date, and that would be on Friday beybeh! Very excited even if I am broke.

On the brighter side of things (yes, brighter, coz the latter paragraph is only bright!) I got me some dark red lipstick, only because I decided that it could come in handy during my lazy make up days. And yesterday would have to be the perfect euphemism for that. I don't really trust red stains but I had to do this because I want my skin to breathe at least 3 days a week. And this is the best solution to look very made up in a minimal yet classy way. I thank you.

So minions I have to go now coz I am in deep conversation with my sister via YM. Goodnight!

-Nel

the mean things I do and will always do!

I have this thing they call "mapagpatol"... and of course I've a perfect excuse for this. I see things and react as fast as a speeding bullet because my brain has this automatic reaction button that lights up in a millisecond the moment I digest what I've seen. Criticism isn't really bad when done subconsciously. 

Bottom line of it all is that it never fails to tick me off everytime I see self-proclaimed fashionistas. It's so annoying the way they brag about the things they know about fashion when all along they're just nothing but clueless wannabes. Why the fuck are you so obsessed with fashion? This isn't even your industry! So get out before it gets you. But what would be the point, you started out as the victim anyway and I see that you'd really end up that way. Runway my fat ass! 

melon milk

Out of all the managers' meeting I've been to, this would have to be the best and chillest so far. It was like being in an all girls school, but with professional people. Ok, I said professional, not boring. Coz boredom was non-existent in the meeting today. I felt like I were back in school enjoying recess with my friends. Work's starting to be fun again, I just hope that when I get back on my store tomorrow, this optimism is still with me. Positive vibes, you are most welcome in Masinag branch. :)

Anyhoot, this wouldn't be a normal blog if I were not ranting or bashing people. But I'm really not in the mood for that for I am still in a very bubbly state. Bahahaha. Anywhat, it's so funny that you are even considering to enter the blog world. I've read your past blogs and it gave me a migraine. I know I'm not always grammatically correct but yours is just way too much for a very self-centered creature that you are. I've seen you bash other people about their grammar and vocabulary, but this I want to ask: Have you even read yours? There were times that I had to read it thrice before I understood your point. Special mention on your blog about your Makati advetures. It was so funny in a sick and eyebrow raising way. I told you, might need to do some reality check. Like go look in a mirror and see your reflection. The things you hate might also be the things you regularly do.

Ok, so again, about the meeting, the sad part about it is that, dress allowance (GC) is still not available. But it will surely come this month coz I don't want my reserved items to rot in our stock room. New items will arrive tomorrow and for sure I'll be eyeing some new merchandise and save some for myself to purchase later this month. The perks of being in retail. Thank you very much. I love Jellybean.

And as usual, just like in my last post, the title has something to do with what I'm putting in my mouth whilst doing this blog. So goodnight minions. Ciao! Positive vibes lang yo!

-Nel

sour cream

It's coz I want to kill time... just had my dinner and I don't wanna go straight to bed after eating a whole lot of calorie infested food. Oh, and ze boyfriend is in a meeting... I'm waiting for him to buzz me. When I say buzz, I meant buzz in messenger, erkeys?

As usual, work had been very much stressful coz it's Monday hey hey! I did everything I had to do just to kill time and boredom. But I have to give a round of applause to myself because I changed our window display, meaning, I dressed up our mannequins and those bitches need to take a bath... they smell like expired moth balls! My sleep deprivation had been very much felt and migraine decided to visit me a few hours before store closing. I started hating Mondays when I became a taxpayer. Funny coz I have work on weekends and yet I'm always bitching out about Monday sickness. 

Anyhoot, this weekend was a blast even if I had work. Ze boyfriend celebrated his birthday yesterday and all we did was dig up our past. Mostly kilig ones and nothing can beat the cheesiness I felt, err, I mean still feeling right now. Bahahaha. You know those awkward moments when you're waiting for something heart thumping to happen? It'd be nice to be back in those moments and feel it again. I'm really getting old. 

I'm going to sleep early tonight for I will attend our monthly manager's meeting tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to that. But what will come will surely come and I just have to deal with it no matter what happens. Come what may, I'm still holding on to faith. Postivie vibes, bear with me. 

Goodnight minions. Adios. And wish me luck, I shall break a leg tomorrow.

-Nel

P.S.

Was eating Lay's Sour Cream & Onion, so you get the idea... so on so forth...

goodbye old friend

Goodbye my friend, it's not the end. 

And I am referring to my credit card. I decided a few days ago that I have to give it up... surrender it to my dad. We've been together since 2006 and I am ready to let go of it. It had been too much of a hassle when my dad started to squeeze money out of me every time my billing statement comes out. He gets a hold of it because it's an extension of his card. Ever since I started working I've been in charge of paying my bills and it's making me broke a week before payday. And it's so hard for me to control swiping it because I fucking work in retail, temptation is seen and felt everywhere! So after a zillion thoughts and reasoning I just decided to get rid of it. It's bittersweet but I have to move on and just use my own money, at least I wouldn't be worrying about the future... by future I mean paying credit card bills. 

-Nel

back on track

Ok, so now I've come up to my senses that I need to take everything seriously once again. I just let that one slip but that will be the end of it. Never again will I let my guard down. I've come this far and I've no intentions on taking a u-turn and going on reverse mode. I just have to put in mind that the moment it gets harder, the bigger the reward is going to be. A little optimism wouldn't hurt me, right? But I still feel lonely going to work, not that I am being too biased, I just missed how it used to be. Sad part of it all, it's part of my job. I know I'll get used to this, so please, TIME, be good to me.

Goodnight!

-Nel

monday mayhem

Work had been nothing but a bitch. Monday sickness tortured me deep unto my very core. I know that giving up is not an option but I'm starting to think that this may be the only way to end this shit before it kills me. And this would have to be the perfect time to rely on make up to give color to my face. I get really pale whenever stress takes its toll on me. I may be losing weight but I'm not enjoying it, but I may be half lying coz my legs are starting to bitch out. But to sum it all up, my best, as expected wasn't good enough. I don't wanna get back to my old habit where in I tend to start things but never manage to finish them. I've left a lot of things hanging in the past, and I don't intend to repeat my old ways ever again. I just feel like I am going to work because I have to, not because I want to... there's a big difference between the two. I want the reason to be the latter but I just can't coerce myself to feel that way. Too many shit happened and as much as I don't want to admit it, I can't handle it anymore. Every thing feels like an endless routine... every morning it feels like I am just dragging myself to work and it gets even harder when I see that preposterous 0.00 staring at me on the screen. A couple months back I want to get rid of idleness but now I'd give everything to have it back even for just a whole week. I need to get rid of all the negative vibes running in my veins. I need to fight off stress and beat it like a mad man. 

Time will forever be fucked up. It was never my friend... never will be. I'm always running out of it. If not running out, it plays dirty tricks on me. Every time I want it to act sluggish it goes on fast mode and it goes the other way around when I want it to speed up like a sailing bullet. 

Bottom line of it all is... *crazy drum roll*... I had a shitty monday. So adios for now minions, time to let my brain cells relax and unwind. Goodnight!

-Nel

poof and it was gone

Work felt strange yesterday. Remind me again how to deal with extreme changes. Crucial holiday rush is about to begin and I'm feeling every bit of laziness running in my veins. I'm starting to think that I don't like my job anymore... quitting is at the end of the line so far. I still don't know how to handle goodbyes in a mature way, I still let it get me. I don't like unfamiliarity. It's awkward, strange and sad to say bleak. LIFELESS. So I guess all good things really do come to an end. Blah. It felt like I lost a limb, well 2 to be exact. Geez, I need to get back on my game and play it smoothly again. Just thinking about it makes me stare in nothingness. 

Good times, they're but good memories now.

Adios!

-Nel

dingdong, the psycho's gone

Yesterday had been nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. I woke up with a very happy virus, full of enthusiasm. Got stressed at work. Got off work with tears. Then off to Eastwood feeling a bit positive, then at the end of my calorie filled snack I got devastated. And now I feel like a psychopath. Ting ting ting.

I still find it really pathetic when a girl acts like she knows a whole lot about fashion and style when in reality she is nothing but a clueless wannabe. Why'd you have to act up that way? It's annoying, bonkers! Ok, I have to admit that high-waisted pants is an in thing now, paired with a woven belt then you have to tie it in a knot to get that classy vibe, but you don't have to wear it every time just to show them you are very updated. Umm, might want to put in mind that that is not the only "in" thing now, fashion and style wise. And why'd you have to brag that you're a thrift shop queen? Are you trying to show cyberworld how good you are in finding fashion that comes in a cheap price? I know you're probably wondering why that girl is treating you that way. Here's my piece of advice, why don't you try to check yourself in the mirror, do some serious personality check and you might find an answer to your endless conundrum. And shutting up would be the best solution to all your ranting madness. Coz if you're really not affected like what you've been saying in our timelines, you wouldn't fill the page within an hour of ranting. You might be the queen of irony, yeah whatever!

On the brighter side... drum roll please... we are still on a roll, it's our 33rd month today! We've been talking about our saccharine moments for the past 33 months and I still get that same feeling that makes me look like a dumb kid. I always get that ridiculous grin plastered on my face every time we remember something. And I even make those vomit worthy giggling whenever I can't suppress my emotions. Vomit worthy only because when I hear it from other couples it makes me wanna throw up. Bahahahaha. It had been very amazeballs and it still is. And I'm feeling that stupid grin building up and making my cheeks ache. Sorry for my exaggeration. 

So goodnight sleepy world, work is just a couple of hours away from me and I need to re-energize. 2nd day of sale event later and we're expecting a lot of people, and hopefully a gazillion sales too. KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED til blood can't circulate anyhoot.

Adios for now.

-Nel

What's in my mind?

Ever had that ridonkulous moment when you open your closet and you can't find anything decent to wear? Well, funny thing is, I work in retail, and worrying about clothes is the last thing that could bother me. Geez, honestly I've a whole lot of clothes that it can't even fit my closet, there are even times that a serious avalanche happens once I open it carelessly. But no matter how many clothes I have, I still have those days when I feel that I still don't have enough. And one of those moments is happening now. I didn't do this post to brag. For I am really in dire need of new clothes! And I'm gonna end this shit.

Anyhoo, Last night was awesome. Definitely got what I was asking for. Felt like we were back in college once again. I never realized how crazy we were back then. From master-slave to ate-twin to pillow-cupcake. We definitely need to do this more often.

And now I have tah go, 3-day sale event starts now and I gotta get my ass to work til 10pm. Goodbye minions.

-Nel

dumdedum

Moment of truth, my eyes are freakishly uneven. It's something we inherited from our dad. By we, I mean me and my 2 sisters. Weird huh?! And because of this I've been having trouble putting on gel eyeliner on my lids. And anythings else that I have to apply on my eyelids. 

I just asked my boyfriend a weird favor for our "beer date" tomorrow. Asked him to dress up the way he used to back in college and I'll be doing the same.  It's really weird when I came up to my senses that nothing had really changed, wardrobe wise for the both of us, because our jobs don't even require us to wear something that screams yuppie and corporate. We're still the same, the only thing that changed might have been just our hairstyles. I asked him this favor only because I've been missing a whole lot of things. Thanks to you Blogger/Blogspot, I've been feeling really nostalgic for the past 24hrs. Wait, scratch that... I've been feeling nostalgic and old. Geez!

And so I'm wishing for a clear weather tomorrow. I want that summer vibe tomorrow whilst I'm driving to work. And it'd be nice if we'll be able to chug some beer underneath a starry sky. Nothing beats cheeseballs moments. Bahahahaha. 

I've been feeling like a sloth the whole day. If laziness won"t leave me alone til this day ends, I might just consider wearing my DMs to work tomorrow for I can't get my lazy ass to get up from this computer chair and give myself a well deserved pedicure. Hello Lazy Daisy, time to leave when the clock strikes 12 'kay?! 

Before I put an end to this entry, I need to post here about my realizations days ago. I've realized that shoes will forever be my first love and that bags are only a 3rd party because of my sister and Singapore. Bahahaha.

Goodnight yo!

-Nel

Sentiments and a little bit of drama to keep me going...

I've been feeling a little too sentimental since my first post here, and who am I kidding because it had only been 22 hours ago. I had been stuck in the past since last night and I can't get out of it. So I decided to just go with it and do something productive about it. This must be one of the signs of aging. And as much as I hate to admit it, I miss the old me. Careless and impulsive. When responsibility used to be miles away from me. When I used to not worry about time and being serious was a grown up thing. Everything still feels fresh to me. 

I know it's way too impossible to go back, take a u-turn and just be in that moment once again. To be able to feel that familiar feeling. Even if I've had a handful of regrets, I don't care because they're inevitable anyway. It only proved that that long line of uncertainty will come to an end because of patience.

And as to relationships, I am more than happy that we are still together even if we started off a bit rocky. Who would've thought that we'd end up together? And I'm so looking forward to our beer date tomorrow coz nothing beats doing old habits with you. 

So I'll end it here because I've been having blog overdose since my first post. Toodles.

-Nel

20 QUESTIONS NI JUAN EKIS (coz it deserves a repost!)

20 Questions ni Juan Ekis -- A Must Read Palanca Award Winning Piece.

This play won in the palanca awards, dulaang isang yugto category.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 

MGA TAUHAN

Jigs ­ Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabaho bilang researcher sa

isang financial firm

Yumi ­ Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 years ahead kay Jigs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

TAGPO

Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort. Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa

sahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man. Naaawa ako sa'yo e.

Tabi na tayo sa kama.

JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.

YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no. Malaki naman itong

kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.

JIGS Sure ka?

YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?

JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?

YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot na divider.

JIGS Good idea.

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati ang kama sa gitna.

Magse-settle down ang dalawa.

Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya: "Puppy Love and other Stories" ni F.

Sionil Jose.

Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng Japanese Zen Music habang nagsa-zazen.

YUMI Do you mind?

JIGS No, go ahead. I'm just reading.

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang di maka-concentrate.

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

YUMI I can't believe our friends.

JIGS Oo nga e.

YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila 'to sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada o kaya sa

bagong...ay oo nga pala.

Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.

JIGS Thanks.

YUMI So what're your plans?

JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng BPI sa OTP nila.

YUMI Wow naman. In demand.

JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition anyway?

YUMI (Matatawa) You won't believe it.

JIGS Ikaw?

YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.

JIGS So why did you start it?

YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa lang siguro noon. Wala lang.

Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald.

E may crush siya kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng barkada, sabi

ko, magsimula kami ng tradition.

Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kung sino ang

mabubunot, silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin

sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we'll all see what

happens. Pero dinaya namin noon yung kay Ronald

at Meg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.

JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!

YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.

JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?

YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?

JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa 'kin sa barkada e.

YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don't see any reason kung

bakit

tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year, unless may crush ka sa'kin

na di ko

alam at alam nila (tatawa).

JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).

YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.

JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang biktima.

YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They're getting married kailan? Sa

June yata.

JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at isang babae sa

isang kwarto for three days,

imposibleng walang mangyari doon!

YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)

JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?

YUMI Anong disgrasya?

JIGS Alam mo na 'yun!

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.

YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa'no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka naman. Di mo masabi.

JIGS Ang alin?

YUMI Ang sex!

JIGS Hah!

YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?

JIGS Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.

YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!

JIGS Excuse me?

YUMI Sabihin mo nga: "Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!"

JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.

YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were in third year.

JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we're gonna last three days.

YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa'kin?

Di sasagot si Jigs.

YUMI We're gonna survive this one.

JIGS What makes you so sure?

YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive pero I've no

time for this.

Alam mo naman siguro na kaka-break ko lang.

JIGS Same here.

YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don't have time for

this?

(Matatawa)

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CD player at

ipagpapatuloy ang zazen.

 Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng ganang magbasa. Pupunta siya

 sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

 JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.

 YUMI May chips ba diyan?

 JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

 Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuha ng chips sa ibabaw

 ng ref.

 YUMI Since we're gonna be stuck naman with each other for three days,

 might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.

 JIGS What do you mean?

 YUMI Get the wine, let's have a drink!

 50 hours to go na lang and we're gonna be the first failure of this

 tradition.

 JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.)

 When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo na sina Rod and

 Kay.

 Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin sa isa't isa. Pero us...

 YUMI Weird ng barkada natin 'no?

 JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!

 YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!

 Magto-toast sila at iinom.

 JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let's make our stay here more interesting...

 YUMI What's with the ate?

 JIGS Fine...

 Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.

 JIGS Let's play twenty questions.

 YUMI Sige! Ano yon?

 JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita, tatanungin

 mo ako,

 mga gusto nating malaman sa isa't isa. Alternate tayo. Pero the thing here

 is,

 you can't ask the question that I already asked.

 YUMI That's pretty interesting.

 JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.

 YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in the

 room. Ok?

 JIGS Of course. You wanna start?

 YUMI No. I want to ask the last question.

 (Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)

 JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa

 buhay?

 YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge-challenge.

 Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.

 JIGS Simula pa lang e.

 YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba...?

 JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?

 YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako... I'm a frustrated ballet dancer.

 JIGS Talaga?

 YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi akong

 disiplina e.

 Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero I really enjoy watching

 ballet dancers.

 When I see them dance parati kong naiisip na sana, ako rin. There!

 Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.

 JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa'kin mamaya.

 YUMI We'll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality?

 I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?

 JIGS Never.

 YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.

 JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.

 YUMI Homophobe ka ba?

 JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?

 YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?

 JIGS I'm straight, okay?

 YUMI I'm not asking if you're gay or not. I'm asking kung...

 JIGS Never nga.

 YUMI We all thought na you were gay.

 Well at least nung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your

 girlfriend to us.

 JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!

 YUMI E pa'no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi mo, pero parang

 allergic ka sa mga babae.

 Over ang pagiging gentleman mo! Too good to be true. You have a good body,

 it seems that you work

 out pero iniisip namin front mo lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga

 bakla ang pagiging maganda

 ng katawan nila at pagiging sporty...

 Tatawa lang si Jigs.

 YUMI So we thought it's either that or you were planning to become a

 priest.

 JIGS What?!

 YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa

 chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba...

 JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.

 YUMI Of course not. I didn't mean that!

 JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn't make me gay!

 YUMI So you did want to become a priest...

 JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family... and be a

 father.

 Tahimik.

 YUMI So you're not gay.

 JIGS No.

 YUMI You never...

 JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It's my turn.

 YUMI Homophobe ka no?

 JIGS Hindi kaya!

 YUMI Whatever...

 JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.

 YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.

 JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?

 YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.

 JIGS The object of this game is not to win.

 YUMI E ano pa ba?

 JIGS To get to know the other person.

 YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill ang isang game

 kung walang nananalo.

 JIGS Sagot.

 YUMI May time limit ba ito? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.

 JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

 Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

 YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom) To answer your

 question,

 either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimula ako ng sarili kong botique or

 bar, o kaya,

 magiging artista ako sa pelikula.

 JIGS Not bad.

 YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies. Tough ang competition e.

 Saka mahina ang manager ko.

 Panay hosting at pictorials ang nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan

 ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako,

 baka magtayo na lang ako ng botique.

 JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?

 YUMI Yuck!

 JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.

 YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!

 JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib! (Tatawa)

 YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga! Akala ko goody-goody

 ka...

 Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano'ng mangyari no!

 Kahit ganito ako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.

 JIGS Ganito? Ano'ng ganito?

 Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.

 YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex, sex, sex!

 Kaya puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!

 JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?

 YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako na'ng magtatanong.

 Ang korni mo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nang konti...Inom ka

 muna.

 Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.

 YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?

 Tahimik.

 YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

 Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.

 JIGS Lalaki o babae?

 Tatawa sila pareho.

 YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.

 YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As if naman ibo-broadcast ko

 sa barkada kung sino.

 JIGS Wine pa?

 YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

 Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.

 JIGS Yung crush ko kasi...siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung pinakamaganda sa

 barkada.

 YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa'kin ang pinakagwapo si Joel.

 Sa babae, si Kay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg...

 JIGS Yung literally na may dating, walang tanung-tanong.

 Yung kahit sino'ng tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.

 YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing game. C'mon

 man.

 Play your own game. Pa'no na kung truth or dare to e di pahirapan na.

 Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.

 JIGS Yung commercial model.

 Matitigilan si Yumi.

 YUMI Wine pa nga.

 Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglang matatawa.

 YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?

 JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?

 YUMI You can say it to my face, I won't bite. Bakit hirap na hirap kang

 sabihin kung sino?

 Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lang e... Wine pa nga!

 JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na...

 YUMI (Ngiti) Gee...thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan naman nangyari

 ito?

 JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush in the barkada...

 NOW?

 YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.

 JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang tanong mo, first

 crush ko.

 YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ito, tambak ka na.

 JIGS Just answer the question.

 YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don't have time for these stuff.

 Kakabreak ko lang di ba?

 JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.

 YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang kailangan kong

 sumagot..

 .hmmm...teka...sino nga ba? Sino ba'ng crush material sa barkada? Wala

 akong maisip e.

 Ikaw na lang.

 JIGS Yung seryoso naman.

 YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang...

 JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.

 YUMI Uy! Pa'no ba'yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush kita...yiheee

 (Tatawa).

 JIGS Dati pa 'yon no!

 YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano namang ginawa ko?

 Tsk. Tsk.

 JIGS Is that your question na?

 YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman... di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

 Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

 YUMI Fine. Here's a little juicy question: Describe your first kiss.

 JIGS That's not even a question.

 YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

 Matatawa si Jigs.

 JIGS Wet.

 YUMI Yuck!

 Magtatawanan sila.

 JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi kami nung isa kong

 kaibigan.

 Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa noo.

 E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sa sahig. Tinatamad

 siyang tumayo.

 So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na ako.

 E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto, sa lips ko siya

 nahalikan.

 Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga ang

 feeling e.

 Parang may glue! . Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho...

 Tawa pa rin si Yumi

 YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si Krissy ba ito?

 JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.

 YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?

 JIGS Nope.

 YUMI Ha?

 JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin e. May boyfriend

 siya noon.

 Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Pero at least, na-discover

 namin na pareho

 pala kaming may gusto sa isa't isa. Pero hanggang doon na lang.

 YUMI What happened after?

 JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work. Tapos, bigla na

 lang,

 hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, iba na ang barkada ko.

 YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.

 JIGS Ikaw, pa'no yung first kiss mo?

 YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit ba lagi mong

 bini-break ang rules?

 Di mo na pwedeng tanungin 'yan!

 JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ng wine) Okay,

 naka-warm-up na ako:

 What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?

 YUMI 'Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba'ng ibig mong sabihin ng naughty?

 JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.

 YUMI Hmmm...marami e...(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.

 JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo exciting naman...

 YUMI Eto na...I had two boyfriends at the same time.

 JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.

 YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.

 JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?

 YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako (matatawa).

 JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo't ginawa mo iyon, aber?

 YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang! ako. E sa type ko sila pareho e. Ano'ng

 magagawa ko?

 Saka para may thrill. Alam mo iyon? Yung patago kang nakikipag-date sa isa

 para di mahuli.

 Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi, alternate sila!

 (Tatawa) Akala n'yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa no'n?

 JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?

 YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman ang love dun. I

 was...having fun!

 JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?

 YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It's my turn.

 JIGS Don't you want to answer the question anyway?

 YUMI My turn!

 JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

 Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isa pa sa ref.

 JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.

 YUMI Are you still a virgin?

 JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?

 YUMI That's my fourth question.

 JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

 Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.

 YUMI Don't tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni Krissy hanggang

 ngayon?

 Ilang taon na ba kayo?

 JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.

 YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don't believe it!

 JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?

 YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.

 JIGS Insulto ba 'yon?

 YUMI Compliment 'yon, tanga.

 JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.

 YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?

 JIGS Alin? Sex?

 YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!

 JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang 'yon sa tao no?

 Nasa iyo na lang 'yan kung ano'ng gagawin mo sa urge na 'yon.

 YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean, pag naiihi ka,

 iihi ka.

 Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang 'yon, di ba?

 JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi. At hindi ka iihi

 kahit saan.

 Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil kailangan.

 At hindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo. Pag di ka

 gutom, di ka kakain.

 Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin. Ang aso, pag may nakitang

 pagkain diyan,

 walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon 'yan.

 YUMI And sex is the same?

 JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At least, yun ang

 nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.

 YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ring sinabing lahat ng

 nakikipagsex, aso ah!

 JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto, mali.

 YUMI And what is that context?

 JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na natin 'yan.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin ginagawa.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba'ng ayaw nun?

 Tahimik.

 YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat kang i-congratulate

 for being a virgin!

 JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit

 di ko ginagawa.

 May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit kanino ang mga

 paniniwala ko...

 No need to get so cross about it, Yumi.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS It's not about being a virgin or not. It's about putting things into

 their proper places.

 YUMI I'm not arguing with you.

 JIGS Me neither. I'm just answering your questions.

 Matagal na katahimikan.

 Ngingiti si Jigs. Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraang

 train of conversation nila.

 Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.

 JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa)

 You still wanna go on with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go.

 (Ngingiti)

 YUMI Shoot me.

 JIGS Who was your first lay?

 YUMI: (Hahampasin ng unan si JIGS) Ang bastos mo talaga! So inaassume mo

 na

 hindi na ako virgin?

 JIGS: E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang nananalo e. So I

 guess I'm winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a! I'm just

 hitting two birds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang

 ang sagot: wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?

 YUMI: Ang daya mo.

 JIGS: Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.

 YUMI: You think I'll answer that after giving your sermon, Father JIGS?

 JIGS: Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko. Kung ano man

 ang sa iyo, I'll respect them as well as I know you respect mine. I'm no

 saint. I'm just trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)

 YUMI: How do you do that?

 JIGS: Alin?

 YUMI: I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way you say

 things...parang bumabaliktad sa yo...makes you more...charming. Kung ibang

 tao ka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.

 JIGS: You can't walk out. We're locked here for three days except for

 meals.

 YUMI: So I'm forced to like you para di masira ang vacation ko. (Ngingiti)

 JIGS: You don't have to answer my question if you don't want.

 YUMI: I guess I'll be honest with you as you were honest with me...

 Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

 YUMI: Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my first boyfriend.

 It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo na...typical senior prom story. Everyone

 wants to lose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it was

 something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made out sa kotse

 niya. One thing led to the other. Tapos, yun...yun na. We went back just

 in time for the awarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa.

 (Mahinang tawa)

 JIGS: What was it like?

 YUMI: Now that I look back, it isn't as special as I thought it was. Pero

 it was different then. Back then, we were just led by our passions. Alam

 mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals are

 confused. Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na

 yon. Akala mo you are in-love at lahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo

 perfect. Everything was magical...well, almost.

 JIGS: Almost...?

 YUMI: Sa next question mo na 'yan. Ako na.

 JIGS: (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.

 YUMI: Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa kin no? (Tatawa)

 JIGS: Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)

 YUMI: Engot. Hindi yon. Here's something na curious lang ako. Kasi I've

 been hearing things...saka you've hinted on it na rin kanina...Are you

 still with Krissy?

 JIGS: Hindi na.

 YUMI: Since when?

 JIGS: Two, maybe three weeks ago?

 YUMI: Sino'ng nakipag-break?

 JIGS: Pareho kami.

 YUMI: Why?

 JIGS: Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang namin na it won't work.

 Isa na don, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay. Magkaiba kami ng

 mga pinaniniwalaan.

 YUMI: Like what?

 JIGS: Marami.

 YUMI: At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two years with her?

 JIGS: People change, YUMI.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS: Right before graduation, she asked me to move in with her.

 YUMI: Talaga?

 JIGS: Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta ang relasyon namin. Might

 as well practice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she's working na naman,

 ako naman bagong graduate, we should try out na raw living together if

 it'll work for us.

 YUMI: Natakot ka sa arrangement?

 JIGS: Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, ano pa ng ikakatakot

 mo, di ba?

 YUMI: E bakit umayaw ka?

 JIGS: It's just that, it's not my thing.

 YUMI: ! Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo ang opportunities!

 (Matatawa)

 JIGS: Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.

 YUMI: Fine.

 JIGS: Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mga ganitong bagay.

 Wala pa sa isip ko ang gano'n. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality na iyon na

 nga ang next step sa relationship namin. I mean, two years of being

 together and knowing each other, we're practically ready to get married,

 if you know what I mean. Pero I realized, I'm not ready for any of these.

 Narealize ko how immature I am. Na iba yung ideals ko two years ago sa

 ideals ko ngayon. I need to mature some more to get into this thing I

 mean, getting married. Diyos ko, ilang taon lang ba ako...

 YUMI: Maturity has nothing to do with age.

 JIGS: But it has a lot to do with time.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS: So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode? Ibig sabihin, pag

 sumablay kami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus the commitment?

 Pa'no pag nawala na yung magic? Goodbye na?

 Iinom ng wine si JIGS.

 JIGS: Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. I think that's the real

 cowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will work kasi takot kayo na baka

 hindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napunta ang excitement ng

 buhay? Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap sa totoong buhay,

 sa hirap at ginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisan muna

 ninyo para siguradong ginhawa lang.

 Magkikibit-balikat lang si JIGS.

 YUMI: Are you always like that?

 JIGS: Like what?

 YUMI: So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sa relationships.

 JIGS: Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trial and error.

 Ngingiti si JIGS. Tahimik.

 YUMI: So, No hard feelings?

 JIGS: Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sa bahay e.

 YUMI: That's nice.

 JIGS: Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?

 YUMI: That's your sixth na ha?

 JIGS: Sure.

 YUMI: Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up namin ni Carlo. And the

 funny thing was, it was about...sex. Uy, sa atin lang ito ha?

 JIGS: Of course.

 YUMI: Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba? I wanted to be in

 a relationship na special naman. So of all the boyfriends I had, sa kanya

 lang ako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstain talaga ako. Kasi

 parang naisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung making love di ba?

 Parang, dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo lang when you are

 sincere with yourself and with your partner. So I was investing muna

 emotionally. And I was actually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko

 na iniisip yung sarili ko.Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect

 na...

 JIGS: Ano'ng nangyari?

 YUMI: Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay daw ako ng proof.

 Pagbigyan ko raw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof yon?

 Na I'm saving myself for that right moment, that special moment between

 us? Alam mo'ng ginawa? Nilayasan ako!

 JIGS: You deserve someone better.

 YUMI: Talaga!

 YUMI: Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired of meaningless sex, when

 I'm looking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Ang ironic ng buhay

 no?

 JIGS: That's the way we must learn.

 YUMI: Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pang na-experience yung tunay na

 mag make-love. And I had to go all through those relationships para lang

 ma-realize yun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.

 Iinom ng wine.

 YUMI: Ikaw ba, importante sa yo na virgin ang mapapangasawa mo? How do you

 see virginity ba?

 JIGS: Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan yan. Pero now that you ve mentioned

 it...It doesn't matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi. Of course I

 value virginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift I could give to my

 wife to be. Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko. It's like

 the perfect wedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindi na

 virgin, I wouldn't care. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don't expect her

 to give me the same gift. I don't do something because I expect people to

 do the same to me. Ibigay niya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo,

 sapat na sa akin yon. Masaya na ako sa ganoon.

 YUMI: (Mapapangiti si YUMI.) You know, that's the nicest thing I ever

 heard from a guy. That's why I always enjoy talking to you. You always say

 the nicest things.

 JIGS: Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equal to love?

 YUMI: I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. I mean, after the

 first time na...you know...sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, we broke up na

 ni Robert. Tapos naisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yung

 naramdaman ko. Baka napagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after the

 pleasure of intimacy. And then I felt empty. So empty. That's why I wanted

 to change. I wanted to believe in making love. And I'm still looking for

 it. Yung magic. Yung feeling mo, tao ka pala. I never felt that kahit

 isang beses. Men have penetrated my body but never my soul. And I wanted

 that. I wanted someone to touch my soul. To make love to my soul through

 my body. Pero siguro, naging numb na ko sa dami ng relasyong pinagdaanan

 ko. Hindi ko alam kung mararanasan ko pa iyon. That's why I envy you.

 Tahimik.

 YUMI: Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?

 JIGS: You still have your soul...(Ngingiti)

 Tahimik.

 YUMI: With whom would you want to experience it?

 JIGS: Of course, sa asawa ko.

 YUMI: I mean, someone in particular. Take it as my seventh question.So

 give a name.

 JIGS: A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino ang magiging asawa ko.

 Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si YUMI. Iinom ng wine.

 JIGS: Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. And then, it was just gone.

 Of course I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic was just gone after

 we both found out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS: My turn?

 YUMI: Shoot me.

 JIGS: Tell me something...a secret. Yung wala kahit isang nakakaalam.

 Matagal na katahimikan.

 JIGS: You trust me naman di ba?

 YUMI: Well, you've earned it, alright.

 JIGS: Saka wala akong tinatago sa yo. Sinagot ko lahat ng tanong mo as

 honestly as I could. (Ngingiti)

 YUMI: I uhm...

 JIGS: Yes...?

 YUMI: I need more wine.

 Magsasalin si JIGS ng wine.

 JIGS: Take your time. We have less than fifty hours to go.

 Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

 YUMI: I'll tell you something no one in the world knows except one other

 person. And that person probably forgot all about me already.

 JIGS: (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?

 YUMI: Ano ka ba?

 JIGS: Biro lang. Seryoso na.

 YUMI: Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.

 JIGS: Promise.

 YUMI: If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit sa libingan mo. Huhukayin

 kita at papatayin kita ulit.

 JIGS: Mamatay man ako ngayon.

 YUMI: Okay...(Pause) I...I was with Joel then... (Magiging mas seryoso ang

 tono niya) ...and Zach. I wasn't really with Zach, I was just going out

 with him pag wala si Joel, alam mo na...making out and stuff...Well,

 anyway, I was kinda serious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and I

 were...you know...doing it. And...

 JIGS: And...?

 YUMI: Uhm...I...uhm...I got pregnant.

 JIGS: What?

 Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

 YUMI: I uhm...shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e. Uhm...Two months

 akong delayed...then I took that test. I found out na buntis nga ako...and

 Joel found out about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn't know what to say,

 you know? Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw lang ako kay Zach?

 Na I didn't really love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke up with me

 and...I..uhm...I was afraid and uhm...(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)

 JIGS: It's okay...

 YUMI: I uhm...hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joel left me. I wanted to

 tell him about the baby to make him come back but I don't think he'd

 believe me after the thing with Zach...and...my parents are gonna kill me

 if...shit. (iiyak)

 JIGS: (lalapit kay YUMI para i-console ito) Ssshhh...you don't have to

 tell me this if it upsets you...

 YUMI: And so I went to a clinic...(hahagulgol) I didn't mean to, JIGS. I

 wasn't myself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone...

 JIGS: Tahan na. Ssshhh...

 Iiyak lang si YUMI kay JIGS. Yayakapin ni JIGS si YUMI.

 JIGS: Alam ba to ni Joel?

 YUMI: How can I tell him? The only other person na nakakaalam ay yung

 duktor sa clinic. God...(iiyak) Oh God...

 JIGS: It's alright...

 Hihimasin ni JIGS ang likod ni YUMI. Patatahanin niya ito. Matagal silang

 nakaganito lang.

 Matagal na katahimikan.

 YUMI: Can you get me my yosi?

 Tatayo si JIGS. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ng kama. Kukunin ang

 Yosi ni YUMI. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay YUMI.

 YUMI: Thanks...

 Matagal na katahimikan.

 YUMI: If we were...if we were the last two people on earth, would you

 consider doing it with me?

 JIGS: Doing what?

 YUMI: Alam mo na...

 JIGS: Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)

 YUMI: Gago mo. (Ngingiti)

 JIGS: Ngumiti rin.

 YUMI: So? Would you?

 JIGS: Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi? (Pagtatawanan si

 YUMI)

 Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

 YUMI: Shut up nga!

 JIGS: That's your eight na, ha?

 YUMI: I lost count. Answer it.

 JIGS: Why not?

 Hihithit ng yosi si YUMI. Tahimik. Sasandal si YUMI sa balikat ni JIGS.

 JIGS: If you could be something else, what would you be?

 YUMI: I dunno...maybe a violin...yeah. Violin siguro.

 JIGS: Bakit?

 YUMI: I always saw the relationship of a violin and its player as very

 intimate. Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko at naririnig ko,

 he strokes the soul of the instrument and the instrument penetrates the

 soul of the player. Para silang nagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy, very

 intimate, very sublime. Di ba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa't isa. Dahil

 kung hindi sila sincere, walang music na mabubuo. The violin surrenders

 her body to her player, her whole body and her whole soul, in full trust

 and sincerity. Di ba, compared to the sound of the other instruments, ang

 tunog ng violin parang isang naked woman? A naked woman in surrender? I

 want to be a violin. I want to be stroked in the soul. I want to make

 sincere music. I want to experience the sound of love.

 Tahimik.

 JIGS: Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)

 YUMI: Pa'no mo malalamang in-love ka na?

 JIGS: Paano? I! Don't think there s a formula to that. Basta malalaman mo

 na lang. I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin yon? I'd like to

 believe na yun na nga yon...yung kay Krissy...

 YUMI: Kwento mo nga...paano mo narealize dati na mahal mo nga si Krissy?

 JIGS: Alam mo nakakatawa...korni actually. Babalik na naman ako sa

 pagiging korni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.

 YUMI: Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.

 JIGS: I heard bells.

 YUMI: Ano?

 JIGS: Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami, may narinig na lang

 akong bells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang yon pero yun ang

 nangyari. Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.

 YUMI: Seryoso ka ba?

 JIGS: O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, may nagkakantahan sa kung

 saan sa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Tapos napangiti ako.

 Pagtingin ko sa mata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siya nakita

 as kabarkada lang. Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduy

 pero ganun. Tapos I just seized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami

 na.

 YUMI: Korni nga. (Matatawa)

 JIGS: Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na. Pag naranasan mo

 na, feeling mo, hindi na korni.

 Ngingiti si YUMI. Tahimik.

 YUMI: Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin ang boses mo. O lasing

 lang ako?

 Tahimik.

 JIGS: I'm into my last question.

 Iaangat ni YUMI: ang ulo niya.

 YUMI: Shoot me. Better make it good.

 JIGS: If you were again to be the next victim of this tradition, if you

 were to be locked up in this room again...who would you want the next guy

 to be?

 YUMI: (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talk to... Yung

 makukwentuhan ko ng mga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung may

 laman. The violin player who'd stroke my strings...not even. Yung

 mapapatunog niya ang strings ko without even touching them. (Tahimik)

 Lumuluwag na ang dila ko...kung anu-ano na ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)

 Tititigan lang ni JIGS si YUMI. Tahimik.

 YUMI: Siyempre yung masarap kausap.

 Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si YUMI.

 YUMI: Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundi mag-usap... I think

 it's better than making love.

 Mapapatingin si YUMI kay JIGS.

 YUMI: Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.

 Matitigilan siya.

 YUMI: I can't believe I just said that.

 Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si JIGS.

 YUMI: Don't you want to kiss me?

 Pause. Titignan siya ni JIGS sa mata.

 JIGS: Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si JIGS)

 YUMI: Yes.

 DILIM...