Tales from beyond and back...

Jan Eleonor & THE ROTTEN POTATO HEAD... Lady Demon!

Quitting is never an option but unfortunate events conspire you to reconsider giving up. Holding on to something that's already a few centimeters away from the trash bin is a waste of time.

I'm supposed to be doing something better. It feels like I've been so broke and ended up bankrupt that from living in the penthouse of a condo I went crashing down to the slums. I will never get used to this even if a bright finish line is waiting for me at the end of this hell hole. Coz I know that before I reach the end, I have to endure the pain of suffering and battling with the monsters inside my head.

PSYCHACHE.

What am I supposed to do now? Look for something better? But how will I do that if I am stuck in this preposterous situation?

A lady demon put me in this state just to save her ass from coming home to where she truly belongs. She kept on pushing in her horns but it's still very visible, even if she covers it up with a big shiny halo. You're a demon and you know it. No matter how hard you try to suppress it, your evil ways naturally comes out. What's inside you is nothing different than Satan himself. FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL OF THIS.

"Without suffering there'd be no compassion."

Why the hell am I suffering when all the while you are sitting there in your make believe throne? You do not deserve all this glory, you only deserve a big bag of shit. You stole everything from the person who really deserves what you took away. Just go straight back to hell and enjoy the pits of it. Might as well bathe in the Lake of Fire to burn all false pretense you've covered up in your body. You've played with fire coz it's in your nature. How I badly wish that every stupid thing you've done will come crashing down to you in one smooth blow that you wouldn't be able to recover from all the suffering and pain.

Fault Lines

How am I supposed to save my ass? I am slowly and painstakingly deteriorating. My brain's screaming and telling me to give up, just quit... for it is a much better option than prolonging this agony. Why coerce something you know in the first place won't work? There's a limit to a person's sanity and I'm feeling that mine's about to reach the bottom line and that any moment I am going to snap.

FAST. FURIOUS. FOOL.

I want all of this to end in a finger snap. I've never been this unproductive before and it sucks that I can't do anything about it. Everything is so lame.

I feel so mad inside. Mad inside coz that's the only thing I'm supposed to do, keep the turmoil in. Shut up and pretend that I am so blessed with what they've given me. In short, lie and fool myself. But I know deep inside me that I may be the only one who could put an end to this shit... I am just suppressing my monsters from dominating my emotions and mentality.

This would be the prefect time for Disney movies to come true. Peter Pan can take me to Neverland. Aladdin could lend me his magic lamp and ask Genie to grant my wishes. But as good and easy it may seem, it is also impossible coz it all comes tumbling down when you snap back to reality.