turntable

So, turns out, I'll be transferred to Eastwood branch next month. I have mixed emotions about this but I know it's all for the better. It just sucks that I have to deal with changes and familiarity all over again. But I still need to look on the bright side and welcome that silver lining waiting for me. Coz something deep inside of me feels that if ever this transfer gets cancelled I'd be disappointed. Thing is, I haven't really fully digested what happened. I dunno how I'm supposed to react. I don't know how I should be feeling right now. Everything hit me in a swift blow, smashed straight into my head leaving me in a coma.

gotta keep the faith

Tomorrow might be my judgement day coz I'm passing my evaluation sheet to my ASM. I dunno how I'm supposed to be feeling right now but everything inside my tummy feels like there's a mosh pot in there and they're all rumbling and jumbling and it's making me gassy. Hello there fart queen. And I'm overeating like crazy that it gives me heartburn sometimes. Doesn't really feel good when you are prolonging the agony. I'm not really sure what will happen but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. I want this job so badly that I was able to give up my weekends and holidays yah know. I even dismissed Lazy Daisy and never entertained her. It's not only wanting this job, I also need it. This is the only thing that makes me different from them. (by them, I prefer not to mention it here due to family matters) I want to totally runaway from my ugly and dark past... the irresponsible black sheep... the middle child sickness. I've had my dark days and I swear I won't ever go back.

Whatever's going to happen tomorrow, I'll just leave it all to God. That's what I did before this all started. I know He'll give me what I only deserve and what is best for me. I shall never question His ways. But, I'll keep on believing that whatever I'm asking for, He will give it. I'm always keeping the faith. :)

Wish me luck for I'll break a leg. Goodnight.

-Nel

friday mayhem

Traffic aside, we started the day right. We were supposed to drop by Megamall to get me my reserved Spiderman tank top in F&H but a long line of traffic that started from Tiendesitas all the way to Megamall kinda ruined that plan. So we decided to just go straight to Galleria after a good 1 and a half hour of craziness inside the car due to exaggerated heavy traffic. Megamall's really that bad when their sale banner is up. All the parking spaces were occupied, even in the establishments around it. I really enjoy discounts, but I wouldn't risk my time and patience to be with all those other shoppers hunting for good bargains. And it was really insane that ze boyfriend and I went out with empty stomachs. On the brighter side, Galleria saved our ass. Ze boyfriend took me to Bon Chon and made my tummy party in amazement. I swear I felt my insides dance because of the goodness that is of Bon Chon's crispy spicy chicken. 

After our breakfast/lunch, went straight to F&H and purchased my tank top. We were both Marvelized thankyouverymuch! Err, already gave him the belt earlier. Anyhoots, Galleria also has a sale event but it's way more different than Mega's. The latter mall looks like people are going to a concert instead of shopping. Galleria looked so calm, even their parking lot looks safe... No lines, no honking and bonking, no angry drivers. Basta, it's way better than Mega. Anyway, I stepped out of our house broke but, good thing my boyfriend saved me from drowning into my empty and dark wallet, I was able to purchase 2 items in Topshop. And I'll just worry about paying him next week come payday.  Thanks babe. :)

I wasn't able to wear my Spiderman tank top coz I was wearing something more comfortable and appropriate for a drinking spree. Last night was a total blur as I was fighting off sleep the entire night after I swallowed the last slice of graham cake that I'm still craving for up to now. Made me realize how stress is slowly taking its toll on me. 

The day after...

I woke up with really puffy eyes. No one left to blame but me coz I slept with make up on. See, I told you I'm not vain, I still have my lazy icky days. And so I came to work looking like a dehydrated retard. Was still on lazy make up mode as I still held on to my red lipstick to make me look decent and I also came to work in my skinny jeans. A once in a blue moon sort of thing for me. If I were your boss you'd probably understand what I'm saying here. And I did that less and more effect, I wore my skinny jeans and paired it with a sleeveless and very loose crop top with spagstrap as my innerwear. So before I talk about style here (sorry, I don't wanna use the word fashion as much as possible) I'll just end it peacefully.

No bashing and ranting today coz I want my mind to relax. The thought of her makes my brain cells scream in agony. 

Goodnight. Need to catch on some zzzzzz's. 

-Nel

wine lippy

So I'm doing this because I want to do something productive and as usual I always resort to blogging everytime I feel this kind of urge. And I've sort of promised that I'll never forsake my blog unlike what I did way back in 2006. If only I could remember my username. This is the only problem when it comes to blogs, you don't get to save every bit of memory you've written (well of course, unless you print a hard copy of your every entry which is a big hassle by the way) unlike in journals where as you can flip the pages and freely read everything you've written and documented in the past. Ok, so I also need to update my journal... its papers might start to get crispy to even lay a pen on it. But Fully Booked, I trust you with all my heart that the journals you're selling is all worth it, especially if it costs a few peso away from 1000. And FYI I've decided that I won't chug down a dozen frappuccinos  just so I could get enough stickers to get me a Starbucks 2012 planner. I'll get me a Belle de Jour planner instead and save up hundreds of pesos. And another reason why I'm getting it is because it has tie up promos with Jellybean. Isn't that cool? Well at least for me it is because I'll be using that planner for work, and it is cool because it really has something to do with work and I'll be enjoying its perks.

And again I finished a bottle of melon milk and it feels refreshing even if my saliva is sticky and my throat feels icky. Anlabo lang ba?! Bahahaha. 

You know how I always say that I don't believe in fashion, only in style? I really do. Well, not that I really don't believe in fashion for it can been seen anywhere. I just don't like it and all the more am I not interested in it even if I work in fashion retail. There's a fine line between the two, a big difference. Fashion is a photocopy, style is the original. It's always better to stand out rather than to blend in the crowd!

Ok, so brain's starting to deteriorate, I gotta go. Adios!

-Nel

marvel-ous

Ayun na nga, just one of those working days where in I have to be on OT mode, without pay... for overtime I mean. My work doesn't really feel like work at all. It just feels like I am in a girl's closet and I have to keep it squeaky clean and organized. New merchandise came today and a red high waist shorts surely got my attention. Mentally, I've already spent all my GCs. Bahahaha. Ooooh, and I've already purchased ze boyfriend's Marvel Collection belt for a post birthday gift. We've decided to wear something Marvel on his celebration this Friday. And I am wishing that the heavens will cooperate and give us a spectacular weather. Anyways, about that Marvel thing, I've been eyeing that Spiderman crop top since the day I've seen it in FH's facebook account. It's limited edition so they only offer it on big stores and I'm more than grateful that I had training in Mega branch because having it reserved is forbidden but, since I know the manager there, she was more than glad to save my size (she initiated that I have it saved)  even if I'll purchase it on a later date, and that would be on Friday beybeh! Very excited even if I am broke.

On the brighter side of things (yes, brighter, coz the latter paragraph is only bright!) I got me some dark red lipstick, only because I decided that it could come in handy during my lazy make up days. And yesterday would have to be the perfect euphemism for that. I don't really trust red stains but I had to do this because I want my skin to breathe at least 3 days a week. And this is the best solution to look very made up in a minimal yet classy way. I thank you.

So minions I have to go now coz I am in deep conversation with my sister via YM. Goodnight!

-Nel

the mean things I do and will always do!

I have this thing they call "mapagpatol"... and of course I've a perfect excuse for this. I see things and react as fast as a speeding bullet because my brain has this automatic reaction button that lights up in a millisecond the moment I digest what I've seen. Criticism isn't really bad when done subconsciously. 

Bottom line of it all is that it never fails to tick me off everytime I see self-proclaimed fashionistas. It's so annoying the way they brag about the things they know about fashion when all along they're just nothing but clueless wannabes. Why the fuck are you so obsessed with fashion? This isn't even your industry! So get out before it gets you. But what would be the point, you started out as the victim anyway and I see that you'd really end up that way. Runway my fat ass! 

melon milk

Out of all the managers' meeting I've been to, this would have to be the best and chillest so far. It was like being in an all girls school, but with professional people. Ok, I said professional, not boring. Coz boredom was non-existent in the meeting today. I felt like I were back in school enjoying recess with my friends. Work's starting to be fun again, I just hope that when I get back on my store tomorrow, this optimism is still with me. Positive vibes, you are most welcome in Masinag branch. :)

Anyhoot, this wouldn't be a normal blog if I were not ranting or bashing people. But I'm really not in the mood for that for I am still in a very bubbly state. Bahahaha. Anywhat, it's so funny that you are even considering to enter the blog world. I've read your past blogs and it gave me a migraine. I know I'm not always grammatically correct but yours is just way too much for a very self-centered creature that you are. I've seen you bash other people about their grammar and vocabulary, but this I want to ask: Have you even read yours? There were times that I had to read it thrice before I understood your point. Special mention on your blog about your Makati advetures. It was so funny in a sick and eyebrow raising way. I told you, might need to do some reality check. Like go look in a mirror and see your reflection. The things you hate might also be the things you regularly do.

Ok, so again, about the meeting, the sad part about it is that, dress allowance (GC) is still not available. But it will surely come this month coz I don't want my reserved items to rot in our stock room. New items will arrive tomorrow and for sure I'll be eyeing some new merchandise and save some for myself to purchase later this month. The perks of being in retail. Thank you very much. I love Jellybean.

And as usual, just like in my last post, the title has something to do with what I'm putting in my mouth whilst doing this blog. So goodnight minions. Ciao! Positive vibes lang yo!

-Nel

sour cream

It's coz I want to kill time... just had my dinner and I don't wanna go straight to bed after eating a whole lot of calorie infested food. Oh, and ze boyfriend is in a meeting... I'm waiting for him to buzz me. When I say buzz, I meant buzz in messenger, erkeys?

As usual, work had been very much stressful coz it's Monday hey hey! I did everything I had to do just to kill time and boredom. But I have to give a round of applause to myself because I changed our window display, meaning, I dressed up our mannequins and those bitches need to take a bath... they smell like expired moth balls! My sleep deprivation had been very much felt and migraine decided to visit me a few hours before store closing. I started hating Mondays when I became a taxpayer. Funny coz I have work on weekends and yet I'm always bitching out about Monday sickness. 

Anyhoot, this weekend was a blast even if I had work. Ze boyfriend celebrated his birthday yesterday and all we did was dig up our past. Mostly kilig ones and nothing can beat the cheesiness I felt, err, I mean still feeling right now. Bahahaha. You know those awkward moments when you're waiting for something heart thumping to happen? It'd be nice to be back in those moments and feel it again. I'm really getting old. 

I'm going to sleep early tonight for I will attend our monthly manager's meeting tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to that. But what will come will surely come and I just have to deal with it no matter what happens. Come what may, I'm still holding on to faith. Postivie vibes, bear with me. 

Goodnight minions. Adios. And wish me luck, I shall break a leg tomorrow.

-Nel

P.S.

Was eating Lay's Sour Cream & Onion, so you get the idea... so on so forth...

goodbye old friend

Goodbye my friend, it's not the end. 

And I am referring to my credit card. I decided a few days ago that I have to give it up... surrender it to my dad. We've been together since 2006 and I am ready to let go of it. It had been too much of a hassle when my dad started to squeeze money out of me every time my billing statement comes out. He gets a hold of it because it's an extension of his card. Ever since I started working I've been in charge of paying my bills and it's making me broke a week before payday. And it's so hard for me to control swiping it because I fucking work in retail, temptation is seen and felt everywhere! So after a zillion thoughts and reasoning I just decided to get rid of it. It's bittersweet but I have to move on and just use my own money, at least I wouldn't be worrying about the future... by future I mean paying credit card bills. 

-Nel

back on track

Ok, so now I've come up to my senses that I need to take everything seriously once again. I just let that one slip but that will be the end of it. Never again will I let my guard down. I've come this far and I've no intentions on taking a u-turn and going on reverse mode. I just have to put in mind that the moment it gets harder, the bigger the reward is going to be. A little optimism wouldn't hurt me, right? But I still feel lonely going to work, not that I am being too biased, I just missed how it used to be. Sad part of it all, it's part of my job. I know I'll get used to this, so please, TIME, be good to me.

Goodnight!

-Nel

monday mayhem

Work had been nothing but a bitch. Monday sickness tortured me deep unto my very core. I know that giving up is not an option but I'm starting to think that this may be the only way to end this shit before it kills me. And this would have to be the perfect time to rely on make up to give color to my face. I get really pale whenever stress takes its toll on me. I may be losing weight but I'm not enjoying it, but I may be half lying coz my legs are starting to bitch out. But to sum it all up, my best, as expected wasn't good enough. I don't wanna get back to my old habit where in I tend to start things but never manage to finish them. I've left a lot of things hanging in the past, and I don't intend to repeat my old ways ever again. I just feel like I am going to work because I have to, not because I want to... there's a big difference between the two. I want the reason to be the latter but I just can't coerce myself to feel that way. Too many shit happened and as much as I don't want to admit it, I can't handle it anymore. Every thing feels like an endless routine... every morning it feels like I am just dragging myself to work and it gets even harder when I see that preposterous 0.00 staring at me on the screen. A couple months back I want to get rid of idleness but now I'd give everything to have it back even for just a whole week. I need to get rid of all the negative vibes running in my veins. I need to fight off stress and beat it like a mad man. 

Time will forever be fucked up. It was never my friend... never will be. I'm always running out of it. If not running out, it plays dirty tricks on me. Every time I want it to act sluggish it goes on fast mode and it goes the other way around when I want it to speed up like a sailing bullet. 

Bottom line of it all is... *crazy drum roll*... I had a shitty monday. So adios for now minions, time to let my brain cells relax and unwind. Goodnight!

-Nel

poof and it was gone

Work felt strange yesterday. Remind me again how to deal with extreme changes. Crucial holiday rush is about to begin and I'm feeling every bit of laziness running in my veins. I'm starting to think that I don't like my job anymore... quitting is at the end of the line so far. I still don't know how to handle goodbyes in a mature way, I still let it get me. I don't like unfamiliarity. It's awkward, strange and sad to say bleak. LIFELESS. So I guess all good things really do come to an end. Blah. It felt like I lost a limb, well 2 to be exact. Geez, I need to get back on my game and play it smoothly again. Just thinking about it makes me stare in nothingness. 

Good times, they're but good memories now.

Adios!

-Nel

dingdong, the psycho's gone

Yesterday had been nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. I woke up with a very happy virus, full of enthusiasm. Got stressed at work. Got off work with tears. Then off to Eastwood feeling a bit positive, then at the end of my calorie filled snack I got devastated. And now I feel like a psychopath. Ting ting ting.

I still find it really pathetic when a girl acts like she knows a whole lot about fashion and style when in reality she is nothing but a clueless wannabe. Why'd you have to act up that way? It's annoying, bonkers! Ok, I have to admit that high-waisted pants is an in thing now, paired with a woven belt then you have to tie it in a knot to get that classy vibe, but you don't have to wear it every time just to show them you are very updated. Umm, might want to put in mind that that is not the only "in" thing now, fashion and style wise. And why'd you have to brag that you're a thrift shop queen? Are you trying to show cyberworld how good you are in finding fashion that comes in a cheap price? I know you're probably wondering why that girl is treating you that way. Here's my piece of advice, why don't you try to check yourself in the mirror, do some serious personality check and you might find an answer to your endless conundrum. And shutting up would be the best solution to all your ranting madness. Coz if you're really not affected like what you've been saying in our timelines, you wouldn't fill the page within an hour of ranting. You might be the queen of irony, yeah whatever!

On the brighter side... drum roll please... we are still on a roll, it's our 33rd month today! We've been talking about our saccharine moments for the past 33 months and I still get that same feeling that makes me look like a dumb kid. I always get that ridiculous grin plastered on my face every time we remember something. And I even make those vomit worthy giggling whenever I can't suppress my emotions. Vomit worthy only because when I hear it from other couples it makes me wanna throw up. Bahahahaha. It had been very amazeballs and it still is. And I'm feeling that stupid grin building up and making my cheeks ache. Sorry for my exaggeration. 

So goodnight sleepy world, work is just a couple of hours away from me and I need to re-energize. 2nd day of sale event later and we're expecting a lot of people, and hopefully a gazillion sales too. KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED til blood can't circulate anyhoot.

Adios for now.

-Nel