fine blahdeblahs

Ok then, let's see if I still have the power to squeeze some thoughts outta my drained out hard head.

My life is still as bleak as ever because I've been engaged with my work and it takes most of my time. I'm as lame as ever coz I'm starting to become like those career driven women I see on the movies. Funny that I'm really not taking work seriously but I'm turning into a workaholic impostor. Again, only because I'm spending my consciousness at work. I'm really getting sick and tired of it but the craziest thing is, I'm only staying because I don't know what and where I'll be headed if I quit without a safe option... that option is, sure fire employment. The main reason why I wanna quit my job is because I miss having weekends. Being able to spend time with my family during their free days is what I've been itching to experience again. I miss doing weekend routines with my family. Having this kind of job makes me feel like a slave and a person with abnormalities. I've been relying on Thursdays for free time but I still want more of it. Having just one rest day in a week is so hard for me to accept... I am the queen of slacking and I know that I don't deserve that kind of pleasure. I need more time to relax and unwind.

*****

Anyway, on the brighter side... I got rid of my curls as it made me miss brushing my hair with my ginormous brush. And also, permed hair makes me look fat and stressed. Speaking of fat, I've enrolled 3 weeks ago in a nearby, but sort of popular gym that is only a 20min ride from our house. I'm doing boxing 3x/week and I've spent a lot on things that I need to be able to enjoy it. I got me some wicked pink boxing gloves, pink hand wraps and the most wicked of it all, a hot pink Nike Zoom Elite. Now I'm broke. I never thought I'd be serious about losing weight that I'd enroll in a gym to get rid of these excess flabs. But, glad to say that I'm enjoying it. I also needed some form of stress reliever that doesn't require popping pills in my mouth. It's actually kind of fun because I get to release tension and anger in a healthy sort of way. Kekeke.

*****

And on the not so normal side, I've been crushing on Xian Lim for quite some time now... I've dreamt of him a last week. Weird right? I know that like my other crushes, this too shall pass... but I'll let it linger for a while. Bang!

Have a good night's sleep minions.

-Nel

just because

Exactly 30 days from now will be our flight to Seoul. One of the reasons why I gave up my first ever BlackBerry phone because only 3g enabled phones work in their country. It was a very impulsive move since we weren't really sure about that trip as we still had no visa that time. Bahaha.

Anyhow, how many months had it been since my last post? I am the lamest blogger in the world. I tend to be overly excited every time I start a blog but as it goes I get lazier and stupid. I blame work for that only because I need something to blame on my lack of posts here. I visit my blog once in awhile but it takes me quite some time before I think of things/thoughts to post and release here. Lame right? Lame and lazy.

So, first things first, let me update you minions about what has and had been going on in my life:

1. I went to my first ever manager's outing 2 weeks ago and surprisingly, I did have a lot of fun.

2. I got my hair permed a few hours before I thought about posting something here.

3. Tickets are booked and guess where we'll be seated: wing side of the plane. This never fails to happen.

4. I lost a lot of weight before the Holy Week and gained it during those 2 days of no work and I kept on accumulating more pounds.

5. I found a desperate way to lose weight by relying on laxative tea. So uncomfortable I tell yah but it works really fast!

6. Haven't been in the mood lately to bother putting make up on my face and decided to rely on liquid blushers to give color to my face. And of course, include my trusty lipsticks too.

This shall be it for now for I am really feeling lazy coz I am on my rest day.

P.S.

Jellybean's The BIG Sale is back so please do come and visit us for great discounts. Thankyouverymuch!

-Nel

pro...cras... ti... na... tion...

-hit our target quota last month
-got back ze full fringe
-new playlist
-got my long forgotten but still very well loved ipod touch a new case
-bought 2 new lippies from Etude House that screams summer
-Evian facial spray is my new skin drug
-discovered new bands due to basking in boredom, thus, new playlist was born
-been watching Running Man since ze Holy Week
-missing summer like how it used to be
-been wanting to see the beach
-grandma's improving since dad saw her since January's stroke
-getting giddy for July's S.Kor. trip for the goons' 30th anniv
-work still piling up
-stupid smoking area in Eastwood is too freaking far from Jellybean
-still hating a relative



Did this in bullet form coz I am too lazy to elaborate what has and had been going on with my life.

-Nel

Neverland

You know how they say that an ugly duckling will one day turn into a lovely swan? This was what they use to tell us as a child. It is nothing but a complete lie, I didn't turn into one, because I turned out to be a human being. I'm not being a pessimist on this one. Just trying to dwell in my thoughts of idleness in this 2 days of bum life. As a kid I didn't really care about how I'd look and dress up. I was just a little girl running free in this world with nothing to worry about, well except asking permission from my dad to get a puppy. Don't you ever wish that time would just stop there? Your world should be immobile once you become a kid, just stop evolving, be stuck in that phase. Wouldn't it be less complicated? Those days when you get really excited the day after your last stay in school that signifies the start of summer vacation. Climbing up the Aratilis Tree to get those mini treats for free. When being dirty and stinky is not such a shameful thing because you are allowed to be in that state. And that nap time is our worst enemy because we feel it's such a waste to lend your time doing it. Growing up is the worst thing that could happen to you. I should've believed them when they told me this when I was still a kid who can't wait to grow up. When you grow out of innocence there is really nothing to look forward to anymore. I used to believe that there is much more freedom in your adult years, but now looking back, I'd rather be stuck in my 9 year old self. When summer days used to be so long and that boredom can't even kill me. Superficial things amaze me that even the sight of my school uniform stuck in my closet makes me happy. What ever happened to those good old summer days? I badly want and need it back. I just want to be careless again without having to worry about its results. Those days when you don't even give a fuck how long you stayed in the pool and how you'd look the day after that. Those days when mom decides on the style of hair you'd get, you just don't care. Hearing the ice cream vendor makes you giddy and you feel butterflies in your tummy as you ask your parents for money. Why isn't life like this anymore? Do we also grow out of it, freedom and happiness? Once responsibilities pile up, there's really nothing much left to do to keep you happy. 

I need a break... a longer break. I need more idleness.

-Nel

2 days

LOCATION: My pink and white room
TIME: 12:37AM (at least this laptop said so)
MUSIC: hohum playlist mode on

It had been a crazy weekend. I had been asking for a break from the retail-taxpaying-world and a very unexpected nausea got me to where I am today. I actually don't know how I'm supposed to feel because tons of work is already piling up and I won't be able to come back to work til Wednesday. My PPT is not yet done, and that report is due on Wednesday, I planned every thing so well and it was running smoothly until last night. I don't really know what happened but my doctor suggested I rest for 2 days. Well, I guess stress got the best of me. So I am just taking pleasure in every little thing that's happening even if it seriously ruined my schedule, but still, I need and been wanting this badly. I just have to embrace and enjoy it.

You know how boredom can make you do something out of well, nothing? Labo lang no? Haha. I am so not used to sulking at home anymore and I feel like a worm drizzled with salt. I consumed half of the day by sleeping and another half of it by figuring out what to do. So here I am today, trying to juggle with my mixed emotions because I am feeling really nostalgic. Hohum playlist is turned on because I have been having flashbacks and it feels weird and great at the same time. I might end up reading my past diaries once I finish blogging. And now I have just come to realize that I've changed. I grew up. I am more mature now. Regrets will always be inevitable and I can't do anything about it. I have done a lot of things back then that I'm sure I won't ever do now. It's just the way it is. As cliche as this may sound, what I am now is because of what I used to be. Wouldn't life be bleak if you hadn't done some craziness in the past? All of it is just a thing to be laughed at now. 

So, to be honest, I am in highschool-feelings-mode right now. It's been 8yrs since I've graduated but parts of those days still feel fresh. Especially those endless summer days. When pigging out and being a couch potato all day and night long isn't really an issue for me coz I don't care about my weight, only because no matter how many carbs and calories I accumulate, I don't gain weight. What happened to those days? I seriously want that back! And of course, highschool wouldn't be highschool without crushes right? I have to admit that I had 1 back then. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even have the urge to buy a cheek tint. Hahahahaha. So for all you kids out there, blush ons/cheek tints became a big thing in the early 2000. And J&J face powder is our weapon for oiliness, Pond's for ugliness and pimples! Anyway, about highschool crushes... mine is as embarrassing as yours. We all had that. We all felt that. That moment when you thought that you were so meant for each other that you'd go straight to college together, graduate, get a job and get married then have kids. We all had the same dreams. That's how futile I was back then, just as how highschoolers are now. Hahahaha. I am able to say this now coz I found out ages ago that girls my age had the same dilemmas. Funny right, but also embarrassing. Memories of this phase still haunt me. The I-shouldn't-have-done-that, why-did-I-do-that realizations that kept bothering me every time I read my highschool diary. Oh, did you know that pride and ego was the best thing back then? Right way to be mature! Hahahaha.

And now let's go back to college, thanks to that certain song, I've been reminded of my messy days in UST! Some parts of this phase is a bit blurry to remember, only because I don't want to remember it any more. You know how a person has his dark days? Well, this one's mine. Once college life started, all I ever had and felt running in my veins was total freedom. Freedom from parents and freedom from myself. I was so used to being in a small circle of friends that when I experienced the real world (yeah, sorry, that's how I've seen it way baaaaack, haha) all I did was loosen up. Did things my own way and sad and humiliating to say, became a rebel. Saying and admitting this now wants me to slap my own reflection then laugh at it disgustingly. I had a lot of regrets during this phase and I still am ashamed of it, well, just some parts of it. This was when I was introduced to the rock and roll world. Attending gigs was the coolest thing that got me really pumped up! And to make it even cooler, I had a drummer boyfriend who's in a band. Nice no? Hahaha. Before, yes it was, but thinking of it now, just makes me want to throw up. Dude, no hard feelings, I am just being honest and in my head it's all, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" Ang funny lang nga e, I've always seen myself back then as his own groupie. Not in a sexual way ok? Haha. So let me end talking about this phase coz I am purely ashamed right now! Hahaha. The past will always be the past. Let me just laugh at it now, ok mga pre?! Hahahahahahaha!!!

I feel humiliated by my own reflecion because of this post. But I am able to put this here because I am so over all the regretful things I've done in the past. These are the things that turned me to who I am now. I am ashamed, yes. But I am happy and contented now. Kudos to me for turning into who I am now. Salamat sa byahe mga chong, nakakahiya man, wala na ko magagawa dun e. FTPMF nalang!

Adios and good night... early check up tomorrow.

-Nel

FTPMF - Fuck The Past, Move Forward or Forget The Past Mother Fucker!

lazy daisy come fly with me

I've been having consistent lazy make up days this past week and I'm scared that my fave lipstick will take its toll and say goodbye to my hungry lips. I gotta get me new MACs. I need to get me dark red hues or something purple... dark purple. I love how a simple swipe of lipstick can make me look made up. I also need to get me some lipstick brush. I'm just hoping that Shangri-la has MAC in Media come Tuesday.

Anyhoot, I've noticed that aside from my lazy make up days, my way of dressing had evolved unconsciously. I got my GCs last month and bought clothes that isn't really me. I've been having wardrobe changes since the year had started. And my closet looks like it's going to puke one of these days. I need to get rid of the clothes I barely wear. College is to blame for that part coz I've a whole lot of shirts that I  can't even wear to work now... and even on my days off. Anyways, here's a sample of my surprising wardrobe change...

 

So not me right? But, I actually like it. I might reconsider leaving cuteness behind and accept being pretty. Bahahaha. That sounded futile and gay.

Adios!

-Nel

a BB farewell

In a couple of hours, 2218EBD3 will be gone. It's not that I've let go of my loyalty, it's just that I want to move on to something better. I will put it back to where it came from. I am seriously getting a bit emotional for we've been together for 2 years. We've shared a whole lot of memories. It even gave me a whole lot of amazing discoveries in that 2 long years. I decided to give you up in a very impulsive way and the main reason for that still has a very indefinite answer but I took the risk. Geez, I know I sound pretty crazy and idiotic but this is how I really feel so just shut the fuck up and stop reading this entry.

I still remember those days when I'd rely on you a lot... to kill boredom, internet usage, communication, photos, alarm. You are amazing in the most brilliant kind of way. I'm sorry that I have to give you up in exchange for something better, that's just the way it is and supposed to be. 

So here it goes...

BB Curve 2218EBD3, thank you, farewell, you will forever be missed.

-Nel

January had passed by so quickly...

So how do you do this again? Bahahahaha. Blog, sorry for abandoning you, I couldn't even get the password right.

Anyhoo, I am a year older since my last post and it  feels lame. Coz I still look the same. (rhyming) Nothing changed so far, but my laziness is starting to plague me again. I miss slacking so much. Gone are the days when I could waste time in an impulsive way. Those days when I'm still allowed 10-15mins before I seriously get up from bed. When staying up late wouldn't matter and affect me the next morning. I've been wanting to be productive since the day I've finished school, and now I am seriously wanting that unproductive life back... even for just a week. Yes, just a week long of that coz I wouldn't want that for a life time. I hate being useless. But still, I am allowed to waste time in a futile way right? So this is how growing up feels. Responsibilities just pile up in a finger snap. In order to live, you have to earn something. Then time just passes you by.What a sad reality. But, I'm still thankful... every day had been nothing but a blessing no matter how many times I've been thrown with shit.

And as to whatever happened last month, it should be a complete blur by now, even if it still weakens my heart every time it slips my mind. It really sucks that unfortunate things had to happen before we find out the truth. I'll just leave every thing to HIM. 

-Nel

2012 slug

First post for 2012. And I have to say that the first 2 days of the new year was kind of fucked up. It filled the tap with shit loads. I was soooo looking forward to a great start but again, so much for the anticipation I was left with dismay. Only good thing about the start of this year was our 3rd year anniversary. Went smoothly. :)

Anyway, a few days from now I'll be turning 25. Down to my quarter life. I feel like an antique already. I've been missing a lot of things that involves my teen years. Makes me feel sad and dusty. Sorry for being senseless.

To brighten things up in this blog that I half abandoned, let's talk Christmas 2011. Here are the things I've got...

skirt from my youngest sister

DKNY Be Delicious Green Apple perfume and lotion from ate

The Face Shop's Herb Day Cleansing Wipes (my latest obsession), 1 from ze boyfriend and the other 2 from my OIC 

Bayo leopard print platforms from ze boyfriend

And lastly, my gift for myself, a BlackBerry Playbook

But as usual, I had work on the 24th so I had to go all superwoman before dinner at grandma's because man oh man, customer's were kinda crazy that day because of procrastinating. Last minute shopping ain't called that for nothing. I had mefenamic for emergency purposes, and by that I meant sudden migraine attacks. Bahahaha. And to make my mood feel really Christmasy, I wore something that screams celebration... this...

That awesome skirt is from, where else, Jellybean of course. You can get it for only 949Php and if you get it this January you get a 10% discount coz End of Season Sale had just started and it'll last for the whole month. And I've just promoted our merchandise thankyouverymuch.

And as for welcoming 2012, I also had work on the 31st so we celebrated New Year's in Eastwood with a whole lot of other people. This I had to say turned out to be the opposite of what I was expecting. Awesome night, very cool. I never thought I'd enjoy celebrating New Year's out of the comforts of our house. That night was a blur, and I meant that literally. It was very smoky but in a good way. Only thing that made me smirk was the fact that I had work during the day and the only dinner I had was a cup of Happy Lemon's Cocoa w/ rock salt and cheese and Tater's fish and chips... but it was all good coz I was with my family the whole night. But the morning after that is another story.

Goodnight and goodbye for now. Adios minions.

-Nel