I know I will never get used to changes.
I will always have a hard time embracing it. It really sucks that I am forever letting myself be buried in the past and as preposterous as it may sound, I always end up sulking and drowning in regret. This is something I've been trying to get rid of. Coz what would be the point getting stuck in something that happened years ago? Should I just blame accumulated memories? Someone once told me that memories are cheap. So this might probably be one of the reasons why I keep holding on to it. Why even bother holding on to something cheap right? Well, this cheapness is irreplaceable. It's not something you can take away from someone and consider it as yours. Memories are built through time, through experience. I might still be holding on because everything was just so fucking good at that time. Good and simple. Who wouldn't want a taste of that again? The more I direct myself to the future, the more I cringe and shiver. My future is as blurry as the rivers of Manila. Dark and irreparable. As to why it's in that state is because of me. Bad decisions. Bad, stupid decisions. Funny how I like getting stuck in the past when it was the reason why my future is uncertain.
But what the fuck right?
Que sera, sera... Whatever will be, will be!
Adios for now bitches!
-Nel
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