past tense

So back in the 2nd of July 2007, I wrote something about pseudo-relationships. I am holding my old journal because I am nostalgic right now, and it sucks. So anyway, here goes...

PSEUDONYMS
Coerce yourself to cry
Let those tears wash away your insanity
Did it really exist?
Like euphoria in a thick mist
Will I forever be Tinkerbell?
Holding on to something
When it's obviously bound to go nowhere.
Neverland is the same as Utopia,
So far away and surreal
It's a world of make believe.
Fool your own self, be deceived
In the middle of this cycle,
Will I end up going somewhere?
Living with pixies and fairies,
In my mind is where they exist.
Should I hold on?
Will this not sever?
Kill this perfect slumber
Crash back into reality
For in this fabricated love story,
There's always you and me...
But there will never be us.
Bits and pieces of magic,
A whole lot of fat hearts and shiny arrows...
When this comes to an end
I'll be left with nothing but perfect memories on the morrow.
A make believe bliss that's floating in the middle of nowhere.

And I also wrote another one in my Multiply account back in November 6, 2008...

END

how do you say goodbye to someone who was never yours?
how do you let go of something you've never had?
put everything to waste
let it be done
let it go
try to put back all the pieces
everything is damaged
memories will soon be forgotten
in this intricate moment, i cringe and cry
hallucination's been gone for a long while
open your eyes, wake up
let's crash back to reality
there's just you and me
just YOU and ME
never US, never will be.

It's really funny how I used to enjoy being in this kind of agreement. But as you grow up you'll realize that pseudo-relationships are as fake as nose lifts. The only thing that's real is what's inside, and it implies to both.